Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Slice of Life #12: Indecision

Anyone who has known me for any amount of years would not be surprised to hear that I'm terrible at making decisions. I should feel so blessed to have these moments in life where I have many options. However, when someone asks, "what are you going to decide?" - I fumble and ramble and can say nothing coherent. I can see the benefits of each path and there are so many gray regions that I never know what to do.

In a simple way, I experience this when I go to restaurants. So many things look scrumptious on the menu and I don't want to be disappointed by choosing something that won't be satisfying or beyond delicious. Or in more life altering matters, the decision is figuring out where to work or what work I will do or even where I might live.

My mother has always encouraged me to think logically when I make important life decisions. That removing emotion helps you see the choice that is best for you. She says this because I often worry too much about how other people will react to my decision that I can't see clearly what I want for myself.

Friends and mentors have told me to think about which decision you could most live without. In other words, they encourage me to think about what I would regret not doing the most. Or I've been encouraged to consider what option I hope will come up when I flip a coin.

One thing that concerns me is that I can't always see the difference between reality and illusion. What if I'm hoping that things will turn out a certain way in reality they will be quite different? What if I just let time make the decision and risk opportunities that are only available right now? What if my current situation really isn't as frustrating is I make it out to be?

 Or I have heard, go with your gut, but what if my gut is wrong?

In the end, I try to remind myself that no matter what path I choose, God will always be by my side. And in the end, those who truly care only want me to do what's best for myself. No matter what choice is made, I will make it be a great experience.


  1. Those two words, What if? Don't let them rule. I say follow your heart before your gut, because if your heart is involved you will be happier.
    I totally identify with making decisions in a restaurant. I want my food to be the best. Good luck with your decision.

  2. Your post brings Robert Frost to mind:

    Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could

    He had a rule of thumb and it seems like you do, too.

  3. Man, your post has made me anxious about my own life decisions. :) Honestly, you are blessed to have so many people in your life that support you, that you can turn to for advice. I feel your pain of indecision! I am the same way. Your line that probably struck a cord the most with me is, "What if I just let time make the decision and risk opportunities that are only available right now?" Uuuggh. I'm afraid I do that too ofte. The great thing is, if we do act, no matter the choice, we gain experience and I feel that with that, we gain wisdom and greater insight for future decisions. Basically, I'm banking that by the time I'm 50- I will be completely assertive, decisive, and sure of it all! Maybe? :) .. Love your post. Thanks.

  4. My decisions mostly involve food, however another piece of advice, for what it's worth, is do what you want and don't get too wrapped up in looking back.

  5. I have a habit of asking way too many people when I have to make a big decision. This usually doesn't help me. I say go with your gut, or (if you can) sleep on a decision. Some decisions will work well and others won't.